Coincidence

Its crazy how your thoughts can deprive you
All the while you think you concealing them
But they creep into the places we try to keep them from

The main incident 

Trying not to be in too deep

Understanding that love does last forever

In the compacity that can be decapitating 

Healing from a wound that will still leave a scar

Memories are never far from the present

If you re-live them are the really past moments

Is it something that we can own up to 

In order to make purple you need Red and Blue

Nothing is what is seen through the naked eye

Chances are what we make them 

Just one last dance that will never truly end

Shadows in the moon light 

I look up nothing in sight but in knowing

I dont have to know cause the wavelength is too thick

Like fog the closer up I get the clearer it becomes

Next thing you know here comes the sun

Beaming so hard it melts the frost

But being cold means one has to be close 

Doing the most but nothing really being done

Luckily moments cant be stolen

Tears can be swallowed 

As if nothing ever happened 

Nothing was ever felt

Being in love with love with love

So many types some have polka dots

Sometimes stripes

But to find it solid is only once 

Growing Pains

As hard as I try
You stay in the forefront
Of my frontal lobe
The days get harded
The nights get longer
Scared
Because I dont wanna lose
Because I become confused
I love what we have
Im beyond secure
Until I heard someone say
Not so fast there is more
Crossing lines I never drew
What am I to do
Never caught up
I cant claim that
But it does feel like my soul
Is a little outta wack
Happiness is genuie
Love is pure
Everything I wanted
So there cant be more
Anymore and I would be
Drowing in the abyss
Of everything I painted
Life to be
Parts of me wants to run
To many connections
To many losses
So I will stand

How though?

I asked for it
Or did I just know
That it was coming
Like the calm before
The storm
But you never knew
The storm was coming
It wasnt in the forecast
But I knew something was off
Missing
Never a feeling of uncertainty
Or like im missing out
But a whole that
Has never been noticed
Not by one
But a stanger
How is this possible
This life
This thing
Feeling toutured
In my own skin
More like and outter body
Experince that I never
Experinced
Watching my self play a role
That my flesh is not staring in
My soul took over the show
I am but a host for what the soul
Wants Needs and Craves for
How is this possible...

Red

Suffocating
Trying to understand
Where we stand
Every time I think Ive let go
Here you come
Showing up in the most
Subtle ways
Keeping me on my toes
Waiting on the next move
But why
How did I even get here

The more I think about it
The more I wish we never did it
I lost more then anyone could ever imagine
But gained more then I can fathom
Not stuck just curious
Always trying to get a clearer picture
Every time I think I do
It gets misconstrued
To much curiosity
Even though everything is a monstusity
Trying to find the positive
In this unfourtunate position
You put us in
All this means is that
We can never be friends

.....

They keep asking what's wrong
I look at them like what's right
Can't seem too shake this feeling
Of being misused
Mentally abused
I feel like it just me
But there has to b more
To this story
it's a piece of a puzzle that
Just won't fit
And every day I just wanna quit
I'm lonely inside
But there is a room full of people
None seem to b my equal
Everyone seems so see through

Fuck

Why do I feel like this
I'm in love with someone
That is willing to call me her
Mrs.
But I feel in distress
How do u fall out ta love with someone
So easily
Still confused on why
She did that too me
I sometimes feel I'm not
Deserving of u
because of what she put me through
Its not fair u know
When u know which way u wanna go
And then
The detour sign shows up
out of no where and
U still don't know which way to go
So many I'll feelings running through
My soul
I Dont know whats real anymore
Dont know how to really feel anymore
Out ta control

My thoughts

In the back of my mind
There something oh so
Fine
But not good for me
Why can't I let go of the
Emotions that stem from
Thee
See emotionally
I'm a wreck
Trying to connect
The dots of reality
But see the unfortunate
Seems too be very
Fortune from my view

Pure ignorance
Seeps from you
Which makes u blind from
What's really true
I thought I was rid of u
But u creep 
dip into my heart
And stalk my thoughts
What is a girl to do
When a large part of me
Is still tainted
By a love that wasn't
So real
For all the time
I waited
I feel like I still am...
But u some how still have a hold on me
Its hard for me to defend...