ijs

Constancy deserves consistency

One can loose interest
Become distant
its ok
Inconstancy deserves inconstancy

......been here

Its hella dusty
So imma wait till
It settles
Then imma
Settle it
Patience
Is my value
To many its a
Virtue
Let me school you
I can be
What need be
Weather it
Fly from a tree
See Im a women
Of so many diffrent
Realities
So for sure imma be
I live in my
Own world
Just give a lil
More time
To see...

You dont know me till you know me

Im not as black and white as I seem
There are tricks to my trade
I may seem scared
But im not afraid

In my life ive seen
Way more dark
Then I have seen light
And because of this
I have in me much fight

Ive come to a breaking point
But too me that was a waste
Even after I give so much
And all most do is
take take take.....
I learn from my mistakes...
Although I was a crack baby
I feel I turned out great

So plz just dont underestimate

Hired

Playing in the background
Cause thats where I choose too be
The spotlight is just
A lil bit much for me

I know my position
But I play it carefully
Never know
When it will be taking
Especially
When your only a temp
In a well know agency

Hopefully a position
Of permanency will
Soon be availible

So many options but
Im waiting for that
One call
That says I want it all

But until then Ill
Play my temporary
Position

Just

My heart hurts
Just a little
I feel like
My life is like
A fiddle
The only thing
That can happen
To a fiddle
Is that it can be played
Over and over again
Until it breaks
But the diffrence is
You cant get a new
One once you make
Mistakes
I have so much to give
And everytime to do
At the end I don wanna live
I feel like I just want too much
That why I say fuck it
Just pass me the dutch
And with every pull my mind
Becomes at ease
Until I come down
And then my minds
Like geez
Not this shit again
So I light another until I slip into
A clear mind
Full of nothing

I love too hard too fast
My mind say no
But my heart wants to make it last
I pass by
I love love
So im willing to give it a try
Screaming for someone to understand me
Tired of being played
I just want some reality

Do you feel me?

Can you honestly say
That you really know
Can you feel what I feel
And its intensity
Do you realize
That my mind has
Once brought me to
A place of true insanity
Where my life
Ment truly nothing too me
Dose and one really here
Me
When I scream
I feel like a mute
Stuck under a tree
That just so happen to fall
On me
I know I can be who I use to be
Because it hurts
Too much
See
I take more then I can handle
My life is like a scandal
Its hard being me
I swear its not easy
Being someones only reason
Being someones everything
Being everyones perfect picture
Being your mothers mother and
Your mothers sister
Being the crutch or
The listener
I just want someone to truly feel me
Just open your eyes wider to see..
Push pass the smile and look deep
Can you honestly say you see what I
Seek

..looking

I have a sick feeling
But it seems to be passing
Im asking myself why
I get no answer I just keep asking
Everything seemed to clear
But truly nothing is black & white
Once the colors came in
It started off dark
Like night
A lil fuzzy at first
Then next thing you
Know there is a burst
Of color
Colors that you never knew
Was there
Because before in
Black and white
They were non-existent
My eyes seem too be
Oggeling
Over the
Ara

Ive seen color before...
I need abstract in my life...
Maybe why this feeling...
Im feeling wont suffice
No need for me to even think twice
I know what I want
And Im destine to get it...
For I know Im chosen for something
Special
Ill never forget it
Realizing my own worth
I dont need a rebirth
Just a lil reminder
And faith
And a eventually
A safe place to lay
My heart

.........

So many things on my mind
Time is something that I can rewind
So I become dormant
To things
I try hard to bring
Out whats inside
So many things reside
I cannot hide
But I try
Because im afraid of my
Disimilarity
Afraid of my own
Inner mystery
That I am beginning to
Discover slowyly
I am coming into me
And hopefully
Someone will love
Thee for that
Without hesitation
Or fact
For that matter
I just want purity
I learning to let
People do them
And just do me