real shit

Im in A place where
The depths
Of me end
A place of
Transparency
A place full
Of epiphanies
And too many
Things of the unsure
..............................
Its not pure anymore
Feeling like
I walked the plank
And sank into
The abyss of nothingness
Where to begin
Not rembering the end
Nor wanting to start
All over again

In a world where
Everything is
Bland
Life has no taste to me
Living like a robot
Doing only the things
I am programmed to
Hoping that
It would be
Enough to get me
Through
Praying that
This feeling
Of rejection
And regret
Will slip away
With no more
Potency
Hoping
That it will
Leave my
being in an
Expeditious
Manner
...........................
Cause it hurts
See
To the bases
Of numbness
My brain
Seems to carry
More Air
Then care-less
Is my thinking process
Trying to come
Up wit a substitution
Because clearly
There is no solution
Or replacement
To this crazed situation
That I subconsciously
Let penetrate my soul
And slowly
Break down what was
Left of me
...............
But truly consciously
I knew what I was getting
Myself into
I knew
The power of you
And we
I knew
That it was to much bliss
I knew
That it would be to much
For thee
But
I proceeded
Then
I processed
Im confessing
To the confusion
Im owning up to
The delusion
To think that
Two souls
Could mend with no
Hesitation
I give up on thinking that
Fairy-tales
Are anymore then
What they are
.......by far.........
scared
Brusied
Upset
Confused
Time and
Patience
Can only tell
What thee outcome
Of me will be

So unclearly I live silently

Crying
With each step
I make
Feeling like
Its my last
With every breath
I take
Holding on to
The thoughts of
Falling out of love
So i can fall again